I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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