I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
