I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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