And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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