Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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