I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.