Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.