and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
