And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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