Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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