I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
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