It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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