...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
