the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
