My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
