But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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