I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
