he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
