Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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