i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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