did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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