Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
