well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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