i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize