Princesses don't give blow jobs
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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