Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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