Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
