What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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