this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What drink are we having for lunch?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
