Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just cut my nipple shaving
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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