he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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