i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
