a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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