so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
