Your mouth is God's brothel.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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