Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
