Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
