I wish my penis had an off switch
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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