The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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