More tranny stories later!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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