im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
