we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
