Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
