God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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