come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
