i need an iv and a liver transplant
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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