Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
