Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize