At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
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