Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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