Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
