so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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