I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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