While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
