so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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