Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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