His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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