Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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