Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
